but I can’t say it.
So how about this, instead.
How about I never saw you coming.
Walking through July like
it was a ring of fire and then you.
You in all your morning glory.
You with the lighter fluid in your mouth.
You on my doorstep trying
to sell me a new security system,
smoke in your teeth.
I know the stories. Someone
is always leaving in them, so here,
take a copy of my keys.
Leave your coat. Make this harder
than it has to be. Make this
a disaster because you know I
live for that.
I was napping on the couch when
I dreamed that you got on a plane
I think it was a nightmare,
at least until you called from the
airport and begged me to come
meet you, then maybe stay forever.
I said yes.
And I know it’s not right,
to say things like this, so I’ll
only say it once.
Listen closely. Are you listening?
Bring your ear to my mouth.
I would follow you anywhere.
God, I would.
finding out that you’re not even worthy of having your number saved in his phone
love and support and celebrate fat girls who don’t have a booty or like in general fat girls with the fat in places that never get celebrated p l e a s e for the love of everything that is good in this world
like let’s not pretend curvy is a synonym for fat curvy is literally just this one specific socially acceptable way to be fat and I am getting increasingly frustrated about it
Questions for the Woman I Was Last Night -
How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps? How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short? Why do you find the unavailable so alluring? Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless? If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you? All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin? And what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it? How are you both of these women, both flighty and needful? Where did you learn this, to want what does not want you? Where did you learn this, to leave those that want you to stay?
all the girls you’ve ever
loved, i think i loved them
interlude for the grand
every mouth you’ve ever
was just practice
all the bodies you’ve ever
and ploughed into
were preparing you for
i don’t mind tasting them
memory of your mouth
they were a long hallway
a door half-open
a single suitcase still on the
was it a long journey?
did it take you long to find
you’re here now,
I FUCKING HATE BAZINGA TWINK AND THAT THE BIG BANG SUCK MY ASS SHOW FUCKING SEXIST ASS SHOW ABOUT WHITE NERDS THAT MAKE SCIENCE JOKES FROM LIKE THE FIFTH GRADE HOW THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT STILL WINNING FUCKING AWARDS LITERALLY BAZINGA MY FUCKING ASSHOLE